What Is Easy to Say, What Is Easy to Understand?

When a wife asks, “What time are you coming?” the husband replies, “I’m coming at seven.” However, he arrives home at eight. The wife complains, “You said you were coming at seven, so I prepared dinner for that time. Why are you so late?” The husband, confused, responds, “I didn’t say I was arriving at seven.” In this situation, the wife meant the time he would arrive home, but the husband understood it as the time he would leave work.

Conversation involves both speaking and listening. It is most effective when the speaker conveys their message as intended and the listener accurately comprehends it. However, even when both parties share the same language, the speaker uses correct grammar and pronunciation, and the listener has no issues with hearing or comprehension, communication can still fail.

The word “communicate” originates from a Latin term meaning “to share.” If the speaker is talking about a circle and the listener perceives it as a triangle, true communication has not occurred. When a message is misunderstood, even trivial matters can lead to conflicts, distrust, and wasted time and effort.

Since we naturally speak our language, we may assume that we are always communicating clearly. However, communication is not merely about saying words—it is about ensuring that the listener understands what is meant. Ideally, what is easy to say should also be easy for the listener to understand, but this is often not the case.

Words From My Lips to Your Ears

A message carries the speaker’s intention, but that intention is influenced by the speaker’s knowledge, experiences, expectations, and values. Similarly, when the listener hears the words, their interpretation is shaped by their own knowledge, experiences, expectations, and values.

As a result, the listener often receives a reinterpreted message rather than the speaker’s original intention. This explains why people can interpret the same words differently. For example, if someone says, “Your face looks like a full moon,” one person might take it as a compliment—“Your skin looks radiant and beautiful,”—while another might take it as an insult—“Your face looks round and big.”

Another major obstacle to effective communication is the false consensus effect, a psychological tendency in which people assume that others think the same way they do. This self-centered bias leads individuals to expect others to understand them effortlessly, even when they do not express themselves clearly. It’s like the saying, “Even if I speak nonsense, you should understand exactly what I meant.”

However, no one can read your mind, no matter how close they are to you. Recognizing that each person uses and understands language differently helps us appreciate the importance of clear communication.

“Between what I think, what I want to say, what I believe I say, what I say, what you want to hear, what you believe you hear, what you hear, what you want to understand, what you think you understand, and what you actually understand . . . . There are ten possibilities for miscommunication. But let’s try anyway.”
The Encyclopedia of Absolute and Relative Knowledge by Bernard Werber

Clear Words, Clear Understanding

When miscommunication occurs, the speaker often blames the listener, believing they spoke clearly. The speaker may say, “How come you don’t get it?” This can frustrate the listener, leading to a heated response like, “No one would understand if you said it like that!”

Such interactions leave both parties feeling frustrated, but the listener often feels more helpless. The phrase “How come you don’t get it?” implies:
“There’s nothing wrong with how I talk.”
“My explanation was good enough.”
“It’s your responsibility to understand my message.”
“If you don’t understand, it’s your fault.”

This high-handed attitude and one-sided approach place all responsibility on the listener, often leading to unnecessary conflict.

A good communicator considers not only what they want to say but also how the listener will receive the message and the outcome it will produce. Expecting the listener to understand without providing enough explanation is inconsiderate. While listeners should pay attention to understanding, the primary responsibility for clear communication lies with the speaker.

Depending on how the speaker communicates, the listener can either struggle with comprehension or understand effortlessly. If misunderstandings frequently occur, instead of blaming others, examine how you express yourself. Rather than arguing about whose fault it is, focus on improving how you communicate. Before feeling upset about being misunderstood or blaming the listener, reflect on how you usually speak. Consider how you can phrase things in a way that is easier for the listener to understand. Shifting your perspective in this way can significantly enhance communication.

Easy Speaking for Clear Understanding

Edward T. Hall, an American anthropologist, introduced the concepts of high-context cultures and low-context cultures. High-context cultures (e.g., many Asian and South American countries) rely heavily on context, situation, and atmosphere when communicating. Low-context cultures (e.g., the United States and many European countries) prioritize direct and explicit verbal communication. For example, if a room is hot, someone in a high-context culture might say, “Isn’t it hot?” expecting others to infer that they want the air conditioning turned on. In contrast, someone from a low-context culture might say, “Can you turn on the air conditioning,
please?”

While indirect speech can be useful in certain situations, direct and specific language is better when requesting something or explaining important information. However, being specific does not mean overloading the listener with unnecessary details. The goal is not to talk more, but to speak more clearly. Instead of using vague adjectives and adverbs like many, wide, well, real, fast, express ideas numerically. Avoid technical terms, neologisms, abbreviations, and foreign words unless necessary.

For example, if a family is going out together and one person is running late, they might say, “Give me some more time.” The rest of the family may wait a little while and then ask again, “Are you ready now?” This could lead to frustration, with the late person responding, “I’m trying to hurry! Stop pressuring me.” However, if the late person had initially said, “Give me thirty minutes,” the family would know exactly how long to wait, reducing tension.

When speaking vaguely or assuming the listener will ask if they don’t understand, the listener is left guessing. What seems obvious to you may not be clear to someone else. Providing concrete explanations improves understanding, decision-making, and cooperation while reducing misunderstandings and conflicts.

*Paraphrasing Abstract Expressions Into Concrete Ones
“There are a lot of customers” → “There are about 30 customers.”
“It’s not too expensive” → “It’s less than $10.”
“I’ll call you later.” → “I’ll call you in 30 minutes.”
“I am almost there.” → “I’ll be there in 10 minutes.”
“It’s really big.” → “It’s about the size of a football field.”
(To a child) “Sit pretty.” → “Sit up straight.”
(To a taxi driver) “Please hurry up.” → “I need to get there within 20 minutes. Can you make it?”



What is easy to say is often hard to understand, while what is easy to understand is often hard to say. Generally, speaker-oriented communication is easy to express, whereas listener-oriented communication is easy to comprehend. Effective and amicable communication should prioritize the listener’s perspective.

Conveying a message easily and effectively requires effort in choosing the right expressions and considering the other person’s situation. In communication, thoughtfulness and sincerity matter more than eloquence. When the listener senses these qualities, the conversation flows more smoothly, and the relationship grows stronger.