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Happiness and time are deeply connected. Just as we describe joyful experiences as “happy times,” happiness is woven into the flow of time. In fact, everything we experience takes place within time. As we live our lives, each moment we go through gathers and layers within its flow, forming the story of our lives. Everyone born into this world lives within time, walks alongside it, and eventually fades into it.
The clock, a device used to measure time, is often considered one of humanity’s greatest inventions. Yet despite ongoing research by scholars in many fields, time still remains a mystery. Although its definition may vary depending on perspective, we generally understand time as moving in one direction, divided into the past, present, and future. Today is yesterday’s tomorrow and tomorrow’s yesterday. Even as the names change within the continuous flow of time, the past, present, and future remain connected as one.
Just as happy moments seem to pass quickly while difficult moments feel longer, time is experienced differently depending on our emotions and perceptions, beyond its physical nature. Therefore, it is important to recognize that how we perceive time influences our lives. By choosing how we view the past, present, and future, we can take on a perspective that leads us toward a happier life—and that choice can ultimately change the course of our lives.
How to Change the Past
Humans are creatures of memory. We recall the past and use those memories to navigate the present and anticipate the future—contributing not only to our survival but also to the development of civilization and science. Our present lives are the result of past experiences and choices. The events of the past do not simply fade away; some remain as wounds, while others stay as cherished memories, continuing to shape our emotions today.
The happy moments we share with beloved family and dear friends do more than warm our hearts—they give us strength and courage for the days ahead. These moments are precious and enrich our lives in ways nothing else can replace. However, if we overly idealize the past, saying “Those were the good old days,” and become lost in nostalgia, our present may begin to feel empty. This is often because dwelling too much on past happiness can reflect a desire to avoid dissatisfaction with the present.
The habit of blaming ourselves with thoughts like “I should have” or “if only I could have” can also lead us toward unhappiness. Holding on to an unchangeable past brings regret, resentment, sadness, and anger, and may even cause us to lose sight of the value of our lives from that moment until now. Yet, happiness does not mean living without painful memories. There is no life in which we make only perfect choices and never experience hurt.
So how can we build a healthy relationship with a past that we can neither change nor forget? Human memory is not purely objective, but is largely shaped by our perspective. While we cannot change what has already happened, we can change the meaning we give it and how we interpret it. By reframing painful experiences in a positive way, we can find valuable lessons and even discover reasons to be grateful. When we reshape these experiences into stepping stones for growth, we no longer need to suffer from the past or struggle to forget it. By holding firmly to our beautiful memories and learning from the lessons within difficult experiences, we can move forward with strength and joy.
The Future Eventually Becomes Today
In the classic fable The Ant and the Grasshopper, the ant works diligently in the summer heat to store up food, while the grasshopper lounges in the shade, singing and enjoying the moment. While the original lesson encourages us to prepare for the future, modern trends often favor a grasshopper-like mindset—embracing the idea of “You Only Live Once” and prioritizing immediate happiness. As the world changes rapidly, uncertainty about the future continues to grow, and with the rise of digital technology providing instant information, the desire for immediate satisfaction has become even stronger.
In reality, it is easy to overlook the distant future while being drawn to what is right in front of us. The carefree life of the grasshopper, enjoying the present without concern for tomorrow, may seem appealing at times. However, when winter comes, the ant lives in comfort, sustained by what it has prepared, while the grasshopper is left cold and hungry. When we chase only present happiness, we become disconnected from the happiness of the future. If we avoid thinking about what lies ahead and rely on vague hopes that things will somehow work out—pursuing only short-term rewards without clear goals—the future gradually begins to blur.
Harvard psychologist Daniel Gilbert explains that the more connected we feel to our future selves, the better we are able to live in the present. When we lose that connection, we tend to chase short-lived pleasures driven by momentary satisfaction. In other words, when we take a long-term view of our future, we are more likely to make wiser decisions. Supporting this idea, Hal Hershfield of the UCLA Anderson School of Management conducted a ten-year study of approximately 4,000 participants. He found that people who felt a stronger connection to their future selves were more willing to delay immediate gratification for greater rewards in the long run. Ten years later, these individuals reported higher life satisfaction, largely because they practiced future-oriented habits such as saving money and exercising regularly.
The idea of ignoring the future and living only for the present ultimately rings hollow. We must remember that the future will one day become today, and the choices we make now will either benefit or harm the person we are becoming. When we continue to make choices that lead to greater long-term rewards, the path ahead becomes clearer and more secure.
Present Happiness and Future Happiness
In his bestselling book Happier, Tal Ben-Shahar presents four types of people based on how they approach happiness. The “Hedonist” seeks only present pleasure while avoiding pain. The “Rat Racer” sacrifices present happiness in pursuit of future success. The “Nihilist” lacks both motivation in the present and hope for the future. And the “Happy Person” embraces both present joy and hope for the future.
Even with clear goals, if we keep pushing forward while postponing present happiness, life can begin to feel exhausting. Even if we eventually achieve those goals, we may not fully enjoy them, because we have not learned how to be happy along the way. Moreover, the belief that we are sacrificing the present for the future can, in itself, make us unhappy. The idea of separating present and future happiness comes from the mistaken belief that they are in conflict. Since who we are tomorrow is shaped by who we are today, the present and the future should not oppose each other, but rather support one another.
True happiness is found when present joy and future fulfillment exist together. When we value the present while looking forward to the future, we can feel happiness even as we move toward our goals. Though the ant worked hard under the summer sun, it may have felt happy thinking about the warm and abundant winter ahead with its family. In this way, future goals can bring joy to the present. Living each day with a grateful heart—pursuing our goals while sharing small joys with our family and those around us—opens the way for our future.
When we have a clear vision of our future self, we gain the resilience to endure even when our present situation feels lacking. The process may be difficult, but negative emotions do not always mean unhappiness. When there is a meaningful reason to endure, those emotions can be transformed into something positive. Instead of thinking, “I don’t like this, but I have no choice but to endure it,” we begin to think, “This is a necessary step toward what I hope to achieve, and I will willingly endure it.”
The present is a passage between the past and the future—the only time in which we can reshape our memories and create our future. While the past influences the present, the present also reshapes how we see the past. When we are unhappy, regret and resentment over past choices are magnified. But when we are happy in the present, even difficult past experiences can be seen in a more positive light. Since the future is shaped by both the past and the present, it follows that a happy present leads to a happy future.
“Today” is the most intuitive expression of the present. Every day that has passed was once a “today,” and every day in the future will also become one. Life is a continuous series of todays, and the only moment in which we are truly, vividly alive is right now. It is fitting that the word “present” also means “gift.” In this sense, we receive the gift of today each day.
As Leo Tolstoy wrote, there is only one time that is truly important—the present. The most important person is the one beside us, and the most important task is to do good to that person.
In the spirit of his insight, let us treat the task before us as our priority, and the person beside us as someone truly valuable. If we prepare for tomorrow without missing the joy of this present moment—which will never come again—then today becomes an immeasurably precious gift within our finite lives.
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